This little story begins with Theodore, whom everyone called Teddy. Teddy was a manly man, always looking for a little bit of adventure especially if it involved some loose women. Now, these kinds of adventure had landed Teddy in trouble before, but never quite like this.
Teddy was sharing rent on nice little apartment in New York with his best friend Patrick at the time. Pat and Teddy had been best friends since childhood and would be wingman for each other when they went out on the town. One debaucherous evening they went out to the bar and Pat couldn't stop talking about this beautiful girl he'd met.
Beer after beer disappeared, and Pat asked Teddy to make him a promise. He made him swear that he wouldn't back out on it, no matter how crazy the request. Being the best of bros, Teddy agreed to the terms without hesitation. That's when Pat told him that he needed his help picking this girl, because she was already with the Mafia Don.
"Oh. Shit." Teddy thought out loud, but he wasn't one to be easily deterred.
They rolled ideas back and forth, back and forth, on what the best way to go about this was. Eventually, after another beer or five they settled on a plan. Why don't we just stroll up to her door, and ask for her? Sure it was dumb, but with sufficient beer goggles it was looking like a pretty good idea. They went to the don's penthouse suite. Up to the very top the high rise apartment building and rang the door bell.
The door opens and there's the don looking them straight in the eye. The plan was looking a lot less appealing at this point. Teddy worked up the courage to speak to the Don. Sweat condensing in his palms, he explained the imagined circumstances. Pat and her went way back. They were old childhood friends and he'd just found out she was living in the neighborhood. They wanted to take her out for a drink or two and catch up on old times.
"Ah, of course." The Don smiled at them. "That would be no problem at all. I'll go get her, have a seat." He walked down a hall and disappeared. The Don seemed like a reasonable fellow. Pat and Teddy grinned at each other, because the stupidly simple plan was going off without a hitch. That was of course, before the found themselves chloroformed and thrown into the trunk of a car.
They were hauled off to shipping yard and thrown in a crate. He was kept in that shipping yard for a week before he met the don's nephew who kept tabs on the place. The nephew had got the story out of Pat some time ago. And he was willing to cut Teddy a deal. Pay him $5000 dollars or sleep with the fish like Pat. It wasn't a particularly tough choice. He paid the money and got out of town as soon as he could. Teddy lost his ass on the deal, but it beat swimming at the bottom of the Hudson.
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